Member-only story
This is The Reason I’m Doing It!
This is my story of how I started on this path of course creation and writing.
Staring at the ocean, it was turbulent, loud, a refection of my feelings, conflict, so much conflict it made me feel sick. I feel the soft sand underneath my feet as they sunk though the thin veil of sand. I tasted the smell of the ocean in the tears running down my face. In this place and time I felt like I was in a prison.
I just wanted out of my situation and so peace. I walked quickly back to my place. And along that road as my feet hit the ground, my mantra was you’re so stupid, why aren’t you doing better, you so useless, you’re so pathetic, you should be ashamed of yourself for being so stupid. stop being so lazy, you’re lazy rubbish, on and on as my feet moved over the tarmac so my mind whirled. I felt the metaphorical chains around my heart, soul and body, squeezing all the life from me. The inner conflict, exhaustion, self abuse and powerlessness were drowning out everything else.
I was working on an Internet Radio Network, with 25 hosts. By all outward appearances, the radio network, and myself, by extension, looked remarkably successful. I did it all without a team. It was a labor of love. but I was suffering from sleep deprivation. However, the financial mode for the radio network was flawed and I found myself working for practically nothing and…
