I Was Angry And This Is What I Did…

Photo by Nsey Benajah on Unsplash

I was angry… my marriage was falling apart. I was angry with him, the world and myself… and this blinded me to any possibility.

The anger was rampart within me. I remember staring at the ceiling at night. Sleep eluding me… realizing that we hadn’t spoken a word to each other, and this flowed into days of tension-filled silences. These silences were bad… each living in our own world of hell… our own hell.

And the anger within me, intensified.

There was no outlet for expression, there was no way that we could or even would ease the pain of the anger… it was a volcano ready to erupt. It was ugly and scary. The worst part of it all was that there was no shouting or accusing …only stony silences, silences pregnant with emotion and fire, and all under the surface.

He didn’t budge, and neither did I.

I was afraid that if I broke the silence, the volcano would erupt and I would be helpless, and the most frightening of all…. if I broke the impasse, I could never put myself back together again, and that kept me more silent!

The silences filled my head with stories of …what would my mother say, what would my friends think of me and what would my grandmother think…and what about my son?

And then..